The Ten Commandments of Marriage
Commandment 1: Marriages are made in heaven. (But so are
thunder and lightning.)
Commandment 2: If you want your wife to listen and pay strict
attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep.
Commandment 3: Marriage is grand....and divorce is at least a
Commandment 4: Married life is very frustrating. In the first
year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. In the second
year, the woman speaks and the man listens. In the third year, they
both speak and the neighbors listen.
Commandment 5: When a man opens the door of his car for his
wife, you can be sure of one thing....Either the car is new or the
Commandment 6: Marriage is when a man and woman become as
one....the trouble starts when they try to decide which one.
Commandment 7: Before marriage, a man will lie awake all
night thinking about something you've said. After marriage, he will
fall asleep before you finish saying something.
Commandment 8: Every man wants a wife who is beautiful,
understanding, economical, and a good cook....but the law allows only
Commandment 9: Marriage and love are purely matter of
chemistry....that is why wife treats husband like toxic waste.
Commandment 10: A man is incomplete until he is
married....after that, he is finished.
Bonus Commandment story....
A long married couple came upon a wishing well. The wife
made a wish and threw in a penny.
The husband decided to make a wish too. But he leaned over
too far, fell into the well, and drowned.
The wife was stunned for a moment but then smiled, "It really